Know your confidence and get the success that you deserve
What is confidence?
Confidence is a feeling that is wired into your emotional circuits. It is an emotional state that you feel when you approach unknown situations that are filled with uncertainty. These situations are known as ‘VUCA’
“ VUCA = Volatility — Uncertainty — Complexity— Ambiguous “
Have you ever been in the following situations:
— Have you been in a large event and you felt nervous in approaching people ?
- Felt low self-confidence in approaching people at a business function to introduce yourself?
- Have you been at a café, or a lounge or a restaurant and you noticed an attractive woman but could not muster the courage to approach her and talk to her?
- Had the chance to do a speech in front of a large group of people but decided not to do it because you were too nervous?
- Have you been in a large gathering of people then felt social anxiety and did not know what to say?
- Have you been introduced to an attractive woman by your friends, then you blew it because you did not know what to say?
- Have you met someone on dating apps, and you thought he/she was very attractive, but did not know what to say to allow her/him to be attracted to you?
- Have you seen a girl on the subway, or on a train or at the mall that was very attractive, you wanted to talk to her, but felt sweaty, or nervous or anxious and then you had regrets?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any one of the above questions then you experienced low self-confidence situation which restricted you from being in an opportunity to get closer to success.
In psychology it was proven that the more confidence a person is the more likely they will be successful in their life.
In the book “Instant Confidence” by best selling author Paul McKenna he mentions how high confidence levels in a person can allow them to do the unthinkable and soar to success.
The good news is that there are skill sets and habits that any person can learn in order to raise their confidence levels. In the book, author Paul McKenna talks about simple tasks that you can do everyday such as meeting random people in the mall and striking a conversation. Introducing yourself and meeting random people at a business conference, taking small risks doing different things that you normally wouldn't do. Other examples, going sky diving (assuming you have a fear of heights). Taking steps to overcome your fears is a giant step to improve your confidence levels. If you are shy around beautiful women, and you approach women and introduce yourself goes a long way to improve your confidence.
Core Confidence vs Conditional Confidence?
Would you say you are more driven by Core or Conditional confidence? Let us explore the difference:
Most men have what is known as ‘conditional confidence’. In psychology ‘conditional confidence’ when your confidence is being determined by a set of circumstances in your life or having possed certain items that make you feel confident. For example, when you wear that perfect D&G or Armani suit, you feel a boost of confidence. When you are driving that red sports car you feel a high level of confidence. When you have that Rolex watch you feel insanely confidence. Conditional confidence is when your inner perceived beliefs are tied to external materialistic items or circumstance. ‘You just won the lottery, now you feel insanely confident.’ When you do not have the ‘suit’, or that ‘car’ or that ‘watch’ you feel low self confidence and which puts you in a negative emotional state.
The other type is ‘core confidence’ is when you are on a mission or a deep rooted purpose that you want to achieve no matter what situation you are currently in. Core Confidence is when you are determined to achieve a certain goal and you simple don’t have time or don’t care about your current situation, whether you have a Rolex watch or not is irrelevant. Usually people who are extraordinarily successful or people who are over achievers have core-confidence. Which do you think is more favorable to achieve success in your life? The answer: Core Confidence obviously. You have a much higher chance of success if you have core confidence in yourself than if you had conditional-confidence. The simple difference is conditional confidence is easily affected by external variables in your environment or your life. Whereas core confidence is not. Historical figures such as Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, or Mahatma Ghandi were know to have core confidence. Their situation or environment was not relevant to what they wanted to achieve. Their goal and end game were unshakeable by external variable in their lives.
In the upcoming book, “Double Your Relationships” by Fonze Vierra, the author mentions some of his weaknesses which was feeling nervous when in the presence of attractive women. He later on took a decision on his life to solve the problem. The author attended boot camp trainings in London and in South Africa to learn to build confidence when talking to attractive women
In the book “Double Your Relationships”, the author talks about his breakup with his other half, and how it was devastating for him. He then talks about the techniques he learned and how he applied to be able to approach attractive women and interact with them. Mastering this technique allowed him to get over his fear of being nervous around women of high status and beauty.
One of the easiest ways to have core confidence is to take action outside your comfort zone. If you never approached a beautiful woman to talk to her, then simply go and do it, and see the results. Another example would be to walk on burning coal, just like Anthony Robbins did which he mentioned in one of his earlier books. Any act that you take that is outside the box, a.k.a or outside your comfort zone that is taking a giant step to build core confidence. In the book “The Game” building core confidence also comes from builder your inner game mindset. Inner game mindset means that you are fully comfortable in your own skin and that you are happy and content of where you are in your life. You simply don’t take what people think and you live your life the way you envisioned it, not how someone else wanted you to live the life that they desired. \
In future situations, notice your self, are you more driven by core confidence or conditional confidence. Just being aware of this fact, it will have a major positive impact in your life.
The more you practice the better and smoother you become with the challenge. Until the challenge becomes a walk in the park, it will be so easily for you to crack the challenge because of you previous experiences.
The bottom-line, core confidence will help you reach your goals in life at a much faster pace.
Here is a free sample of the book “Double Your Relationships” by Fonze Vierra that you can download for free — Link
Here is a link to read the benefits of the book, Link.
Thank you for your time.
